My Take Away

– Iram Majid (Advocate)

“10% of conflict are due to difference in opinion. 90% due to wrong tone of voice.”

My take away on mediation and also my understanding to the training what I learned in the pepperdine. Mediation is a process in which a third-party neutral assists in resolving a dispute between two or more other parties. It is a non-adversarial approach to conflict resolution. Some times its a believe that the purpose of mediation is rapid and efficient settlement of a particular case. But I disagree. Sometimes the purpose of a mediation is more to improve relationships among parties who will have to deal with each other again, or even to help them learn how best to handle conflict with other parties in the future 

A mediator serves as an intermediary, and works to counsel the parties on fair and practical settlement options. The process of mediation can be customized to the needs of the disputing parties mediator should be flexible and chose the orientation as per the demand of parties like facilitative or evaluative. In stages I learned that pre mediation conference play a vital role.

Stages of meditation

Pre Mediation ConferenceJoint sessionOpen endedgoalConfirmatory acts when there’s deal / “impasse breaking” technique when there is no deal
Getting everyone committed to explore settlement through mediationRole of mediation & importance of mediatorClosed ended hypothetical questionsissues develop agenda
The initial sessions on mediation daygiving everyone an opportunity to tell their version of the story / listening / carrying messages / talking about BATNA and WATNA etc.carrying offers and counter-offers / helping the parties assess offers on the table / helping parties respond / counter etc

I believe that the true measure of success in mediation lies not only in the end result, but also in conducting a mediation so that the parties feel respected and heard. I believe being an effective mediator means being respectful, actively listening, and combining a mix of empathy with the reality of litigation so that the parties feel their positions have been considered, and that they have not just been forced into a settlement. For me, settling a matter alone is not the sign of a successful mediation; if one or both of the parties reasonably feels that the system has failed them because they did not get heard, then I feel I have failed as a In a successful mediation, the mediator will: analyze issue Build rapport and credibility with attorneys and parties.

Then very interesting topic I grasped is Public policy mediation is a method for securing actionable agreements among a broad range of interested parties who participate as negotiators, often on behalf of constituencies. It creates a forum for deliberative negotiations among the government, representative stakeholders, and the general public. The parties’ technical expertise, as well as their critical concerns and preferences, are woven into deliberations that increase mutual understanding and lead to otherwise untapped opportunities for consensus agreements. Policy mediation is used by a broad array of federal, state, and local governments to develop all manner of public documents that reflect complex decision making, including plans, policies, regulations, city charters, settlements, and memoranda of understanding. There after the negotiation strategies There are two main approaches to negotiations based on the stance adopted by the negotiating parties – distributive and integrative.

Distributive Bargaining and Integrative Bargaining

The primary difference between these two bargaining strategies is that in distributive bargaining, you don’t take the other party’s needs into consideration when making a deal .Distributive Negotiation is the negotiation strategy in which a fixed amount of resources are divided between the parties. It’s more controlled. In contrast, integrative bargaining is a type of negotiation in which mutual problem solving technique is used to enlarge the assets, that are to be divided between the parties. Integrative negotiation is more on relationship. For better understanding I prepare this diagram.

Then comes my favorite topic and my maximum take away that is appology Relationships can be wonderful buffers against stress, but relationship conflicts can cause considerable emotional pain and stress. Knowing how to apologize–and when- -can repair damage in a relationship, but if you don’t know how to apologize sincerely, you can actually make things worse! Effective apologies are simple if you know what to say. Here are some easy steps to help you learn how to apologize sincerely and effectively. Given that loving relationships are messy by nature, the power of the apology plays a huge role in relationship maintenance and harmony. The three parts of a healthy apology are the following:

  1. Acknowledgement
  2. Remorse and empathy
  3. Restitution: This modern definition captures the core elements of apology: a) acknowledgment, b) affect, and c) vulnerability. Apology is repair work. , “while there are some injuries that cannot be repaired just by saying you are sorry, there are others that can only be repaired by an apology.” This is the power of apology – indeed, sometimes its necessity – that it is the reparative mechanism available when relations have encountered something that cannot be fixed, but which also cannot be ignored.

For some observers other elements must also be present for a “true” apology. There must be a plea to repair the relation; the offending party must mean it. To demonstrate this some require only that the offending party genuinely appears sorry. Others require a clear indication that the situation will not happen again. Still others require the offending party to make some attempt at restitution. Lastly the cross culture mediation and what role a culture plays.. culture is like air .. without air we cant survive so is the case with culture.. we cannot survive without culture. As the use of mediation increases, mediators are more and more likely to be involved in a cross-cultural mediation. Even the most skilled and experienced mediator will face new challenges in a cross-cultural mediation. Although only a handful of mediators have the opportunity to mediate cross-border business disputes or international political conflicts, domestic mediators are increasingly likely to be involved in disputes between people who represent distinctly different ethnic, racial, or national origin cultures. I m thankful to the entire maadhyam team to provide me this opportunity and for value addition to my understanding.